While many people rely on  sun-signs  and external criteria,  maybe there is a bit more of a deep ground to digg into, when it comes to Compatibility Factors in a couple.   So here I am, ready to share my  THEORY about Compatibility in a couple, which I would rather call a Biotheory of mine.   It’s the THEORY OF ORBITS.

We all come to life ALONE, leave life ALONE and walk through life ALONE.  Each individual moves on her/his own distinctive an UNIQUE ORBIT.  Regardless how much we push ourselves to get improved or not, or  how rapidly evolving our personality is, or how many influences we are being imposed by others, our ORBIT remains UNIQUE and independent.  There are NO TWO INDIVIDUALS with identical  LIFE ORBITS.

Now, the norm is that all people’s orbits get inteconnected,  – “intersected” would be the right term- and that may happen in more than one instances during their lifetime.  We rush to make critical decisions upon the MAGIC we felt during a mere ORBIT INTERSECTION with a person that seemed to be our Perfect Mate.   But that Intersection was nothing more than a Meeting Point, and being a Meeting Point lasted only as much as a “point” can last.  Soon Magic is gone and the realization of having our favorite bubble bursted and being back to our ALONENESS may be devastating in some cases.

Even worse, whole lifetime-frames can be based upon the illusion of an instant ORBIT -INTERSECTION just because we want to believe this is the Perfect Relationship.  Marriages hold on to this hopeful senario, only to explode into thousands of pieces as cruel reality earthquakes shake the fake structure a bit.

Is there a way we can identify our PERFECT MATE without falling into the trap of momentarily orbit intersection  “happy ever-after” illusions ?

Yes, there is    Just look around you and start observing what makes your best and warmest friendships as successful and as valuable to you.  You’ll recognize the PATTERN there.  It’s all about PARALLEL ORBITS.   When you move in PARALLEL ORBITS with another person, depending on the “distance” between you, odds are you can evolve together, share lots of things, become great friends, and even great Life Partners.

So according to my “Theory of ORBITS”,  basic prerequisites for Compatibility in a couple – as known for ages, by all civilizations that touched mother earth-  are :

1. The more you have in common, the better !

2. You must both be aware of your ORBITS and preserve your Uniqueness at all costs ! ( don’t try to borrow your mate’s ORBIT instead of moving on yours)

Lets demystify the two principles a bit further.

Why is it essential to have lots in common?  Isn’t it right that opposites are attracted?  Well being in an opposite sex you will be attracted, but that’s the ONLY difference that will keep you together.  The GLUE to your relationship will be made by your SIMILARITIES.  The fewer your similarities, the more GAPS there will be between you.  Gaps create distance and allienation.  Furthermore it’s a Law of Nature to leave no gap unfilled.  So soon the gaps will become walls between you and you’ll totally lose connection to each other.

Do you want examples of things to have in common?  There are countless.

It’s essential to have a common background.  The Cinderella’s fairytale is an exception to the rule which just validates the rule.   It’s important to have similar educational level.  As you’ll see in my dialogue with a precious friend of mine below,  I mention a vivid example for this point.   You must have common life attitude, which means  you must see things and life from the same angle.  You can’t be overly optimistic about everything while your mate is a pessimist.  You must share common values and principles.  Finding something “right” by default while your mate considers it “unacceptable” is a strong indicator that you don’t speak the same “language” and things between you will probably never work.  Share common dreams and visions (if any).  Having no dreams is OK, as long as your mate has no dreams as well.  Being sexually Compatible is among your MAJOR common points, but we’ll discuss it in another section of our Blog.

Here is part of a dialogue I had with a good friend of mine, a Libyan University Professor – I got his permission to post it here-  :

[11:47:01 ??] Abdul says: no not in sense of compatibility but in sense of typicality
[11:47:26 ??] Sophia says: i don’t believe in typicality Abdul
[11:47:32 ??] Sophia says: this is OUR LIFE
[11:47:38 ??] Sophia says: it’s PRECIOUS
[11:47:45 ??] Sophia says: and we ONLY live once
[11:48:05 ??] Abdul says: I know its matter of a destiny and we have to face it..yes u r right
[11:48:06 ??] Sophia says: we don’t have to live our life according to others’ norms
[11:48:29 ??] Sophia says: NOBODY will tell me how to live my life
[11:48:44 ??] Sophia says: most of the tragical mistakes I made
[11:48:54 ??] Sophia says: were based on my MENTAL MODELS
[11:49:05 ??] Sophia says: put in my brain
[11:49:08 ??] Sophia says: by others
[11:49:13 ??] Sophia says: FAMILY, SOCIETY
[11:49:34 ??] Sophia says: i became unhappy BECAUSE I respected others’ norms
[11:49:38 ??] Sophia says: NOT mine
[11:49:57 ??] Sophia says: anyway
[11:50:06 ??] Sophia says: do you want to hear my THEORY ?
[11:50:19 ??] Abdul says: shoot
[11:50:39 ??] Sophia says: my theory is about ORBITS
[11:50:50 ??] Sophia says: we come to life ALONE
[11:50:57 ??] Sophia says: we leave life ALONE
[11:51:07 ??] Sophia says: and we walk through life ALONE
[11:51:26 ??] Sophia says: each person moving on his/her individual orbit
[11:51:32 ??] Sophia says: which is UNIQUE
[11:51:45 ??] Sophia says: in most cases ORBITS meet
[11:52:11 ??] Sophia says: and people fool themselves thinking that they met THEIR PERFECT MATE
[11:52:32 ??] Sophia says: but the MEETING POINT is nothing more than a POINT
[11:52:41 ??] Sophia says: and soon MAGIC is gone
[11:52:50 ??] Sophia says: the ideal senario is
[11:53:00 ??] Sophia says: to share your life
[11:53:12 ??] Sophia says: with someone who moves on a PARALLEL ORBIT
[11:53:26 ??] Sophia says: at least you’ll be close to each other for long
[11:53:31 ??] Sophia says: evolving together
[11:53:46 ??] Sophia says: to my THEORY OF ORBITS
[11:54:13 ??] Sophia says: basic prerequisites for Compatibility are :
[11:54:27 ??] Sophia says: 1. the more you have in common, the better
[11:54:46 ??] Sophia says: 2. you must both be aware of your ORBITS
[11:54:52 ??] Sophia says:
[11:58:50 ??] Abdul says: bloody wonderful stuff
[11:59:02 ??] Abdul says: yes it’s really true
[11:59:09 ??] Abdul says: BUT one thing
[11:59:35 ??] Abdul says: what about the superficial relations, contacts, etc
[11:59:42 ??] Abdul says: in this formula
[11:59:51 ??] Abdul says: the ORBITAL
[12:23:45 ??] Abdul says: ….sorry, bad connection….but where were we?
[12:24:07 ??] Sophia says: you were commenting on my theory
[12:24:21 ??] Abdul says: I’m commenting about the superficial stuff on the theory
[12:24:35 ??] Abdul says: I can buy all what u got in the principle
[12:25:13 ??] Sophia says: there is no superficial stuff Abdul
[12:25:27 ??] Sophia says: unless we want to play by superficial rules
[12:25:39 ??] Sophia says: we are always aware of what we want
[12:25:51 ??] Abdul says: ok, in parallel orbits, u said its the best remedy..but what if they’re in differences
[12:25:54 ??] Abdul says: minds
[12:26:17 ??] Sophia says: i said that THE MOST TWO PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON , the better
[12:26:18 ??] Abdul says: attitudes, and materialy
[12:26:21 ??] Sophia says: i mean
[12:26:29 ??] Sophia says: same educational level
[12:26:34 ??] Sophia says: same way of thinking
[12:26:40 ??] Sophia says: same principles about life
[12:26:42 ??] Abdul says: yes
[12:26:44 ??] Sophia says: same values
[12:26:51 ??] Sophia says: same financial status
[12:26:54 ??] Abdul says: right
[12:26:58 ??] Sophia says: same ambitions
[12:27:07 ??] Sophia says: same manners
[12:27:21 ??] Abdul says: ok..stay there
[12:27:52 ??] Sophia says: you can’t be an ambitious workaholic man and me being a lazy slut shinning my nails all day laying in the sofa
[12:27:52 ??] Abdul says: DO you think it going to be a crunchy life within those couples
[12:28:29 ??] Sophia says: you can’t consider unacceptable what i consider a MUST
[12:29:01 ??] Sophia says: you can’t be discussing philosophy when all i can talk about is Cosmopolitan last gossip
[12:29:47 ??] Sophia says: you can’t believe it’s OK to neglect yourself and look like an elephant when i do my best to look pretty and attractive and in shape
[12:30:46 ??] Abdul says: ahaaa…now I got that
[12:30:52 ??] Sophia says: you can’t be dreaming of creating things in your life, while all i care about is how many new pairs of shoes, dresses and fashion accessories i can shop this week
[12:31:16 ??] Abdul says: OK..stay there
[12:31:30 ??] Abdul says: let me put some examples
[12:31:54 ??] Sophia says: and you can’t be a nagging bastard with me, demanding me to serve you, while i’m a pleasant smiling creature that deserves to be respected and pleased
[12:32:02 ??] Sophia says: my examples are random
[12:34:31 ??] Abdul says: Damn..I cant find a specific example..!!

The second major factor is a BIG TOPIC which of course can’t be exhausted in a single posting like this, but I’ll make an attempt to outline it as briefly as possible.

Being aware of your Orbit means you must have literally turned yourself upside down, emptied the contents on a table, and put them back in an orderly manner, so you actually be conscious of WHO you are, where are you coming from, WHO you want to be, and HOW you’ll get there.  Uniqueness goes without explaining, because nobody else can be the protagonist of my life  except my ROYAL HIGHNESS